February 5, 2016

Somild, you’ll barely notice there’s an atmosphere at all

WFC -5.57%

Wells Fargo & Co (WFC): $34.41 (-$2.03) (-5.57%) Shares plummeted after CFO Timothy Sloan realized he forgot to compound everyone’s interest yesterday.

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Monocle-Wearing Oil Baron’s Cigarette Holder Splinters In Clenched Teeth After Hearing Bernie Sanders’ Environmental Platform

GREENWICH, CT—Leaving him visibly seething as he sat in his tufted leather wingback chair in his study, monocle-wearing oil baron Frederick Porter Harriman’s ivory-inlaid cigarette holder reportedly splintered between his clenched teeth upon him hearing presidential candidate Bernie Sanders outline his environmental platform during Thursday night’s Democratic debate.

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