Fully Leveled-Up Video Game Character Marvels At How Far He's Come

WINDHELM, SKYRIM—Having completely filled out his skill tree, obtained every unique item, and successfully completed each quest and subquest within the expansive virtual world ...

Nation Currently More Sympathetic To Demise Of Planet Krypton Than Plight Of Syria

WASHINGTON—According to a national poll conducted by the Pew Research Center Monday, the vast majority of Americans are currently more concerned about the demise ...

Ecstatic American Indians Praise 'The Lone Ranger'

'Finally Our Story Is Being Told,' Tribespeople Say

LOS ANGELES—Upon emerging from an advance screening of the Walt Disney Pictures film The Lone Ranger, representatives of the country’s American Indian population ...

Kidnapping Going Pretty Smoothly

ST. LOUIS—While admitting he’d been nervous at first about the seriousness of the felony he was committing, local kidnapper Milt Horton reported Wednesday ...

Ahmadinejad Signs On As Dean At Sarah Lawrence

BRONXVILLE, NY—Building on a decades-long career serving government and academic institutions in his home country, outgoing Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad officially accepted a position ...