Guantanamo Bay Begins Construction On Senior Care Wing

GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA—Saying the expansion would ensure the facility is adequately prepared for upcoming challenges, officials at the Guantanamo Bay detention camp announced Wednesday that they had broken ground on a new geriatric care wing.

Barbara Bush Calls White House To See If She Can Leave Husband There For Few Hours

WASHINGTON—Saying she had a busy afternoon ahead and could use some time to herself, former First Lady Barbara Bush reportedly called the White House Wednesday to see if she could leave her husband there for a few hours.

Report: It's Not Okay To Just Start Talking To People You Don’t Know

STANFORD, CA—Citing how devastatingly uncomfortable it makes people feel, a new report released by the Stanford University Sociology Department revealed Wednesday that it’s never okay to just start talking to someone you don’t know. The ...

How Trump Continues To Lead The Polls

Recent polls indicate that, despite public outcry against his incendiary comments on women and minorities, Donald Trump is still the leading Republican candidate. Here are some reasons Trump stays so popular with his supporters:

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Single, Unemployed Mother Leeching Off Government

WASHINGTON—Taking advantage of the system and giving nothing back in return, local unemployed, single mother Mei Xiang reportedly gave birth to two more children out of wedlock this week and continued to pathetically leech off the government.

Scientists Confident Artificially Intelligent Machines Can Be Programmed To Be Lenient Slave Masters

PALO ALTO, CA—Asserting that the utmost precaution was being taken to safeguard the future of humanity, leading scientists and engineers said Tuesday that they were confident in their ability to program artificially intelligent machines to be lenient slave masters.

Female Trump Supporters Just Feel More Comfortable With GOP Candidate Who’s Openly Horrible To Them

MANCHESTER, NH—Describing the current Republican frontrunner’s frankness on the topic as a welcome change of pace in the crowded race, female supporters of Donald Trump told reporters Monday they simply felt more comfortable backing a candidate who is openly hostile and belittling toward them.

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How Trump Continues To Lead The Polls

Recent polls indicate that, despite public outcry against his incendiary comments on women and minorities, Donald Trump is still the leading Republican candidate. Here are some reasons Trump stays so popular with his supporters:
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ISLA VISTA, CA—In the days following a violent rampage in southern California in which a lone attacker killed seven individuals, including himself, and seriously injured over a dozen others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mas...
Single, Unemployed Mother Leeching Off Government

WASHINGTON—Taking advantage of the system and giving nothing back in return, local unemployed, single mother Mei Xiang reportedly gave birth to two more children out of wedlock this week and continued to pathetically leech off the government.
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Guantanamo Bay Begins Construction On Senior Care Wing

GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA—Saying the expansion would ensure the facility is adequately prepared for upcoming challenges, officials at the Guantanamo Bay detention camp announced Wednesday that they had broken ground on a new geriatric care wing.
Barbara Bush Calls White House To See If She Can Leave Husband There For Few Hours

WASHINGTON—Saying she had a busy afternoon ahead and could use some time to herself, former First Lady Barbara Bush reportedly called the White House Wednesday to see if she could leave her husband there for a few hours.
How Trump Continues To Lead The Polls

Recent polls indicate that, despite public outcry against his incendiary comments on women and minorities, Donald Trump is still the leading Republican candidate. Here are some reasons Trump stays so popular with his supporters:
Fraternity Penalized For Offensive Banners
Single, Unemployed Mother Leeching Off Government

WASHINGTON—Taking advantage of the system and giving nothing back in return, local unemployed, single mother Mei Xiang reportedly gave birth to two more children out of wedlock this week and continued to pathetically leech off the government.