SYRACUSE, NY—Saying the bulleted list of diagnostic criteria had touched something at the very core of his being, local 34-year-old Adam Zenner reported Friday that an online depression symptoms checklist was speaking to him as no poem ever could.
NEW YORK—Celebrating his legal victory as fresh steam swirled around his bare body, a naked, dripping wet Tom Brady was absolutely thrilled with the decision to overturn his four-game suspension, the imagination of federal judge Richard Berman confirmed Thursday.
SPARTANBURG, SC—Struggling to regain his composure and come to terms with what he had just witnessed, market researcher Nathan Pendersen emerged from a Denny’s focus group Thursday shaken after finding out what Americans really want to eat for breakfast.
WASHINGTON—Saying they simply needed something to direct their anger toward, the nation’s frenzied Donald Trump supporters admitted Thursday that, if circumstances were different, they would be just as happy tearing the Republican frontrunner to pieces.
How do dangerous narcotics cartels smuggle their goods into the U.S. and what is the human cost of their operations? The Onion explains the drug trade.
How close has the nuclear-armed world come to a descending into outright global catastrophe? The Onion explains nuclear proliferation.
What motivates the brutal terrorist group to commit its atrocities and how does it use technology to spread fear worldwide? The Onion explains the horrifying spread of ISIS.
What is the path forward for women given the barriers to equality they face worldwide? The Onion explains women’s rights.
How is the secretive totalitarian government of the Hermit Kingdom operated? The Onion explains North Korea.
Sponsored by Starbucks DoubleshotTech Trends reporter Aaron Vaughn takes a look at Green Forward, a startup creating new green technology for Americans to blindly disregard.