Fossilized Evidence Reveals Spazosaurus Was Largest Doofus To Ever Roam Earth

MOAB, UT—U.S. paleontologists reportedly unearthed a nearly intact skeleton of a Spazosaurus Tuesday, an extraordinary discovery providing evidence indicating that the awkward, uncoordinated ...

New Michael Bay Romantic Comedy To Focus On Love Story Between 2 Explosions

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he’s wanted to do something a little more personal for some time now, director Michael Bay, known for such big-budget ...

American Dental Association Recommends Making Your Gums Hurt Really Bad Once A Day

CHICAGO—Reiterating the organization’s oral health care guidelines at a press conference Friday, a spokesperson for the American Dental Association reminded all Americans to ...

Progressive Charter School Doesn’t Have Students

ATLANTA—One year into its founding as the purported “bold next step in education reform,” administrators on Monday sang the praises of Forest Gates Academy ...

Eminem Terrified As Daughter Begins Dating Man Raised On His Music

ROCHESTER, MI—Hip-hop artist Marshall Mathers, a.k.a. Eminem, said he was left wholly terrified today after meeting his daughter Hailie’s new boyfriend ...