McCormick & Company (MKC): $64.98 (+$13.84) (+27.1%) Shares in the spice purveyor soared on word that the three sturdy galleons dispatched two years afore had been sighted off the coast of Cape Verde, returning from their dangerous voyage to the exotic Orient with their casks brimful of redolent cinnamon, cardamom, and mysteriously intoxicating curried powder.
NEW YORK—Shedding new light on the origin of interpersonal communication, a report released Friday by anthropologists at New York University found that it took humans 3,000 years after developing language to work up the confidence to talk to each other.
WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.
WASHINGTON—Saying it was the first step in gaining the confidence and stability he would need to reintegrate back into society, residents and staff on Thursday welcomed former White House strategist Sebastian Gorka to New Beginnings, a halfway house for fired Trump administration members.
DETROIT—Touting the menu item as perfect for “commander-in-chief-sized cravings,” Little Caesars this week launched an extensive marketing campaign for its new Marshmallows ’N’ Gravy Pizza aimed directly at President Donald Trump.