May 7, 2015
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The storm before the calm before the storm

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HSH +5.01%

Hillshire Brand Company (HSH): $37.71 (+$1.80) (+5.01%) Share prices jumped on the announcement that Lit'l Smokies will be the official smoked cocktail sausages of fun.'s 2013 North American tour.

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Tiger Woods, Lindsey Vonn Blame Breakup On Hectic Sex Lives

JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Explaining that the pressures of their day-to-day commitments had given them no other choice but to end their three-year relationship, golf star Tiger Woods and Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn released a joint statement Wednesday blaming their breakup on their hectic sex lives.

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Blog Post Read By Mother To Shape Child’s Next 18 Years

PAOLI, PA—Poised to inform future parenting decisions on medical care, dietary restrictions, and everyday well-being, the blog post “Fluoride Drops For Kids—Good Idea?” which was read by local mother Laurie Miller earlier today, will reportedly shape the next 18 years of her young child’s life.

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