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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race
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About The Onion

The Onion is the world’s leading news publication, offering highly acclaimed, universally revered coverage of breaking national, international, and local news events. Rising from its humble beginnings as a print newspaper in 1765, The Onion now enjoys a daily readership of 4.3 trillion and has grown into the single most powerful and influential organization in human history.

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Founded in 1993, The A.V. Club is a sister site of The Onion featuring insightful pop culture commentary, interviews, reviews, features, and other entertainment-related articles. Learn more about the site here.

What is ClickHole?

Founded in 2014, ClickHole is a sister site of The Onion featuring the most clickable, shareable content the internet has to offer, and is built on the guiding principle that everything published on the internet deserves the right to go viral. Learn more about the site here.


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Books

The Onion has released 13 books over its illustrious 250-year publishing history, including three books of original material. All are available for purchase here.

Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents 100 Years Of Headlines From America’s Finest News Source (1999)
Our Dumb World: The Onion’s Atlas Of The Planet Earth (2007)
The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge: A Definitive Encyclopaedia Of Existing Information (2012)


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