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1 In 3 Twentysomethings Have Faked Calls

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Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.

How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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1 In 3 Twentysomethings Have Faked Calls

According to a new survey from the Pew Research Center, 30 percent of cell phones users aged 18 to 29 have feigned calls in the past month to avoid certain social situations. What do you think?

  • “What I really hate is when they try to fool you by pretending their hand is a phone.”

    Ian O’Brien Export Manager
  • "Yeah, I’ll admit it’s a pretty convenient dodge. The only downside is getting socked with hefty fees when I go over my pretend minutes."

    Mickey Taylor Belt Picker
  • “Wow! Really? That’s… Sorry, I’ve got to take this.”

    Regan Hill Unemployed

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