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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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1 In 9 U.S. Schoolchildren Diagnosed With ADHD

Eleven percent of American children between the ages of 4 and 17 have received a diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, with two-thirds of those diagnosed taking prescription stimulants such as Adderall and Ritalin to treat their behavioral issues. What do you think?

  • “It’s because of the way we raise kids today, with all the Power Ranger toys and Sega Mega Drives.”

    Barry Cordella Baseball Glove Shaper
  • “Hey, whatever it takes to get them coloring inside those lines.”

    Robin Marfiak Campground Caretaker
  • “Huh?”

    Reynaldo Evangelatos Tugboat Mate

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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