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1 In 9 U.S. Schoolchildren Diagnosed With ADHD

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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1 In 9 U.S. Schoolchildren Diagnosed With ADHD

Eleven percent of American children between the ages of 4 and 17 have received a diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, with two-thirds of those diagnosed taking prescription stimulants such as Adderall and Ritalin to treat their behavioral issues. What do you think?

  • “It’s because of the way we raise kids today, with all the Power Ranger toys and Sega Mega Drives.”

    Barry Cordella Baseball Glove Shaper
  • “Hey, whatever it takes to get them coloring inside those lines.”

    Robin Marfiak Campground Caretaker
  • “Huh?”

    Reynaldo Evangelatos Tugboat Mate

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