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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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10-Year Anniversary Of Iraq Invasion

Over a dozen explosions were reported in Baghdad today with more than 50 confirmed dead on the tenth anniversary of the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq. What do you think?

  • “Come on, another anniversary? Must we celebrate every little ground war we start?”

    Mark Chung Ferry Captain
  • “I’ve been trying to make a celebratory cake, but it keeps blowing up in the oven. Spent like $4 trillion on ingredients already.”

    Abby Winnick Unemployed
  • “Yeah, 2003 was a crazy time. Remember Evanescence? What were we thinking?”

    Thomas Lawner Laminator
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