adBlockCheck

Recent News

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
End Of Section
  • More News

10-Year-Old Girl Gives Birth

A 10-year-old girl in Colombia gave birth to a healthy 5-pound boy, making her one of the youngest mothers on record. What do you think?

  • "I hope they're able to play nice together."

    Hank Arias Hand Former
  • "Stop rubbing my nose in the memory of what it was like to go through grade school as a barren woman."

    Colette Legere Rubber Liner
  • "Kids these days just grow up so fast. Especially when they're likely raped by members of the family or someone else in their town they probably trusted."

    Fritz Coleman Crate Opener

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close