adBlockCheck

Recent News

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
End Of Section
  • More News

100,000 Condoms Distributed To Olympic Athletes

In an effort to prevent athletes from contracting STDs during the Winter Olympics, the International Olympic Committee has distributed 100,000 condoms to the 7,650 competitors bunking in the Olympic Village, or about 13 condoms per person. What do you think?

  • “100,000 condoms for two weeks? That’s more than I go through in a whole year!”

    Wayne Halfpenny Web Page Designer
  • “That seems like a lot of pressure to put on athletes to have sex with each other.”

    Glenn London Theme Park Administrator
  • “Fine, but I just can’t imagine how two weeks will be enough time for them to ask people out, go on a few dates, agree to start committed relationships, get married, and then after much prayer and discussion, consummate their unions.”

    Cathy Rochin Floral Arranger
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings