105 Meningitis Cases Tied To Tainted Drugs

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DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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105 Meningitis Cases Tied To Tainted Drugs

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has confirmed eight deaths from 105 total cases of meningitis in nine states, all stemming from contaminated vials of steroid painkillers distributed by the same Massachusetts company. What do you think?

  • “If only the drug companies weren’t so oppressively regulated, they might be able to afford anti-contamination technologies.”

    Martin Purvis
    Baccarat Dealer
  • “Nothing good ever came out of Massachusetts in a vial. Except that genuine Michael Dukakis sweat on eBay. Man, I wish I could afford that.”

    Bunny Cottrell
  • “Wow, I didn’t know steroids were a form of vaccines or that meningitis was a form of autism!”

    Jean-Pierre Soto
    Carnival Attendant