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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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127 Charged In Mob Sweep

In the largest mob crackdown in U.S. history, the FBI has targeted 30 “made” members and nearly 100 associates of the Mafia in New York, New Jersey, and Rhode Island. What do you think?

  • "Great, now everyone is going to know that I’m not really in the mob."

    Terry James Unemployed
  • "It's high time they cleaned up that corrupt and lawless backwater city. Now if New York could only prevent the wealthy elite from purchasing the mayorship."

    Samantha Mahew Geodesist
  • "With the Rhode Island gang locked up and cider season over, the New Hampshire and Vermont crews are poised to raise some hell in New England."

    Will Degville Systems Analyst

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