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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.

Grandma Looking Like Absolute Shit Lately

VERO BEACH, FL—Unable to ignore the 86-year-old’s dramatic physical decline since they last saw her, sources within the Delahunt family reported Monday that their grandmother Shirley is looking like absolute shit lately.
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$1.6 Billion On White House PR

According to the Government Accountability Office, the Bush Administration spent $1.6 billion in public relations and advertising in the past 30 months. What do you think?
  • "Did they run anything during the Super Bowl? If not, that seems out of line."

    Adam Kleinschmidt Barista
  • "I'd say the ads were successful. George Bush has become a household name."

    Kate Lyon Event Manager
  • "I didn't realize it cost so much to make oneself look like an apocalyptic nightmare."

    Terry Rowe Pastry Chef

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