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16-Year-Old Attempts Sailing Record

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Charles Koch Orders Sniper To Fire Warning Shot Next To Marco Rubio On Debate Stage

GREENVILLE, SC—In response to the presidential candidate’s unsatisfactory answer to a question about the economic effects of environmental regulations, Koch Industries CEO Charles Koch reportedly ordered a sniper positioned in the rafters of the Greenville Peace Center to fire a warning shot near Marco Rubio’s podium during Saturday’s Republican debate.
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16-Year-Old Attempts Sailing Record

Abby Sunderland, 16, is attempting to set a world record by becoming the youngest person to sail alone around the world. What do you think?
  • "Yeah, I just read about that in Horrible Parents magazine."

    Emily Sawyer
    Code Inspector
  • “Well, I guess I'll tell my 17-year-old daughter who's sailing around the world that she's failed, yet again."

    Aaron Brock
    Systems Analyst
  • "That's impressive, but remember, Sir Francis Drake circumnavigated the globe more than 400 years ago in a small wooden ship filled with illiterate, foul-smelling Britons while wearing a stupid ruff around his neck."

    Dean Enright
    Unemployed

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