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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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16-Year-Old Attempts Sailing Record

Abby Sunderland, 16, is attempting to set a world record by becoming the youngest person to sail alone around the world. What do you think?
  • "Yeah, I just read about that in Horrible Parents magazine."

    Emily Sawyer Code Inspector
  • “Well, I guess I'll tell my 17-year-old daughter who's sailing around the world that she's failed, yet again."

    Aaron Brock Systems Analyst
  • "That's impressive, but remember, Sir Francis Drake circumnavigated the globe more than 400 years ago in a small wooden ship filled with illiterate, foul-smelling Britons while wearing a stupid ruff around his neck."

    Dean Enright Unemployed
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