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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.
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$2 Billion Environment Pledge

Richard Branson, the eccentric head of the Virgin Group, has pledged two billion dollars to fight global warming. What do you think?
  • "The wealthy really ought to thank the insanely wealthy like Branson for making them look good."

    Brian Ducey Painter
  • "If used properly and in small enough denominations, this money should suffice to shade us from the sun’s harmful rays."

    Emily Shapiro Homeless Advocate
  • "Is it making anyone else nervous how all these billionaires are suddenly shoveling their money into philanthropic causes? Is there a Judgment Day coming up that I didn't hear about?"

    Quentin Lakeland Janitor
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