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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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$2 Billion Environment Pledge

Richard Branson, the eccentric head of the Virgin Group, has pledged two billion dollars to fight global warming. What do you think?
  • "The wealthy really ought to thank the insanely wealthy like Branson for making them look good."

    Brian Ducey Painter
  • "If used properly and in small enough denominations, this money should suffice to shade us from the sun’s harmful rays."

    Emily Shapiro Homeless Advocate
  • "Is it making anyone else nervous how all these billionaires are suddenly shoveling their money into philanthropic causes? Is there a Judgment Day coming up that I didn't hear about?"

    Quentin Lakeland Janitor
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