Recent News

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
End Of Section
  • More News

2 Billionth Netflix Disc Shipped

Online video rental source Netflix commemorated its two-billionth disc shipped, Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist, by giving the recipient a free lifetime subscription. What do you think?
  • “Not to toot my own horn, but the local Blockbuster gave me a free box of Dots last week because I was the 10th person to rent a DVD there this year.”

    Clayton Rozzi Tobacco Sample Puller
  • “Wow, I had B.A.P.S delivered the same day.”

    Jane Krumbein Keyboard Action Assembler
  • “What in the world? How do you make a playlist that has no end?”

    Mike Reinsilber Hand Carver

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.