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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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2 Meteorites Hit Connecticut

Less than three weeks after a small meteorite struck a house in the Connecticut town of Wolcott, a second meteorite was found to have hit a home less than a mile away in the town of Waterbury, with scientists suggesting the two may have fallen in the same event. What do you think?

  • “Oh my God, what if there are other meteors out there?”

    Audrey Colter Hoist Operator
  • “One more and I’ll have to update my hilarious ‘You know you’re from Connecticut when...’ list.”

    Frankie Schneider Embalmer
  • “Lucky. Our home just gets showered in jet waste.”

    Rufus Delbonnel Dance Therapist

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