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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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20% Of U.S. Adults Don't Use Internet

A Pew research report reveals that one in five adults in the United States don't use the Internet. What do you think?

  • "Those are probably the same one in five adults who think Obama is an American-born Christian."

    Pat Buggy Underground-Distribution Engineer
  • “Have they tried restarting the machine? Sometimes that helps.”

    Lois Atkins Systems Analyst
  • "Can you give me a few minutes to come up with a quip about Internet pornography?"

    Doug Parker Lathe Sander

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