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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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20% Of Yelp Reviews Fake

Following a recent study that found that 20 percent of all reviews on Yelp are fake, the attorney general of New York announced it had fined 19 businesses for posting fraudulent positive reviews, which had been farmed out to phony reviewers in Bangladesh, the Philippines, and Eastern Europe. What do you think?

  • “You mean that bistro on Lexington isn’t ‘good for eat food place’?”

    Fred Riordan Kiln Firer
  • “When you read a sensitive, masterful portrait of a patty melt, it doesn’t matter if it’s true, just that the author made you feel it could be true.”

    Nora Roach Sightseeing Guide
  • “I love Yelp! Great website, very friendly, would visit again.”

    Bill S. Local Worker

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