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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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20 Percent Of American Homes 'Underwater'

According to a study from the Santa Ana, CA research firm CoreLogic, one in five homes in the United States are worth less than what their purchasers owe on them. What do you think?

  • “That's impossible. My house wasn't worth anything to begin with.”

    Kathryn Butin Systems Analyst
  • “Have they tried putting cinnamon sticks on the stove?”

    Sam McDonell Napthalene Operator
  • “This is exactly why I live with my parents. Their home value always remains something I have absolutely nothing to do with or am responsible for.”

    Casey Prindle Unemployed
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