2011: International

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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2011: International

This year saw political unrest in the Middle East and Russia, economic crisis in Europe, and a former president of the Ivory Coast on trial in the Hague. What do you think the biggest international story of the year was?

  • “The European debt crisis worries me, just because Germany tends to start wars on six continents whenever it gets itself into a financial bind.”

    Brian Alexander
    Hat Trimmer
  • "Everyone’s food is too spicy. And they speak English wrong. Next time I’m keeping my vacation dollars in Indiana where they belong."

    Sarah Swilley
    Lumite Injector
  • "Do I win money if I guess the right news story? What about if I guess it wrong? Can I have money then?"

    Orlando Pé
    Unemployed
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