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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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2011: Politics

Party brinksmanship in Congress has led to the government nearly shutting down on multiple occasions this year. Are you worried about a federal shutdown in 2012?

  • “I’m very worried about a government shutdown. Then again, I’m also worried about the rise of Sharia law in Pensacola, FL, so you should take my fears with a grain of salt.”

    Lindsay Everett Systems Analyst
  • "No, of course not, assuming our Democratic colleagues have the sense to come to the bargaining table in good faith this time."

    John Boehner U.S. Representative
  • "No, of course not, assuming our Republican colleagues have the sense to come to the bargaining table in good faith this time."

    Harry Reid U.S. Senator

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