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Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

Jimmy Carter Contemplating Dying Right Here And Now

WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the pros and cons of each option from his seat onstage at Donald Trump’s inauguration, former president Jimmy Carter is, according to late-breaking reports, currently contemplating dying right here and now.
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2012 In Politics

This year saw the Supreme Court upholding the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, Barack Obama winning reelection, and the nation threatening to go over the “fiscal cliff.” What do you think was the biggest political story of 2012?

  • “It has to be George H.W. Bush’s death next week.”

    Ben Wong Systems Analyst
  • “Rick Santorum. Long after the Republican primaries and the election, he just keeps captivating the American people!”

    Leslie Ettings Hose Maker
  • “Definitely voter suppression efforts at the polls. They wouldn’t let me vote just because I didn’t know my zip code or the correct spelling of my last name.”

    Mick Phelan Flagger

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