2012 In The Economy

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 7, 2014

ARIES: Your belief that nothing can stop you will be tested this week by depression, procrastination, concrete barriers, dysentery, armed gunmen, and the unanimous passage of several laws targeted specifically at stopping you.

Ranking Women Somehow Not Issue In Miss USA Debacle

NEW YORK—As backlash against the Miss USA pageant continues to spread following controversial anti-immigration remarks made by the contest’s owner, Donald Trump, sources confirmed this week that the overt ranking of women is somehow not a part of the ongoing nationwide outrage.

Insurance Only Covers Generic Heart Transplant

GALLATIN, TN—Saying he will just have to trust that the new organ he receives is as good as the other options out there, local man Keith Palmero confirmed Tuesday that his insurance provider would only cover a generic heart for his upcoming transplant surgery.
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2012 In The Economy

Economic indicators improved marginally during the year, with the unemployment rate falling slightly and housing prices finally starting to rebound, but the recovery from the Great Recession remained far from robust. How did 2012’s lackluster economy affect you?

  • “I try not to let stuff like macroeconomics affect me.”

    Bob Zondag
    Tow Truck Dispatcher
  • “I’ve noticed the empty cans and bottles I collect for a living are increasingly off-brand.”

    Gerard Atkinson
    Unemployed
  • “I had to make a lot of tough business decisions since nobody on my staff voted the way I told them to.”

    Yvonne Duda
    Chief Executive Officer
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