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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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2013 In Entertainment

The entertainment world was abuzz this year over Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s newborn daughter North, the series finale of Breaking Bad, as well as the antics of former Disney star Miley Cyrus. What do you think was 2013’s top entertainment industry story?

  • “That David Blaine special freaked out my mom.”

    Jeremiah Visconti Marionette Maker
  • “I’ll never forget the morning when I woke up and saw this in my newsfeed: ‘Celebrities Attend Man Of Steel Premiere in New York.’ I still get chills.”

    Samuel Kenner Glassblower
  • “I thought everyone in general did a great job of keeping me entertained.”

    Laura Unger Unemployed

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