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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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2013 In International News

This year, the British royal baby was born, Pope Francis became the new pontiff, and legendary anti-apartheid leader Nelson Mandela died at age 95. What do you think the biggest international story of the year was?

  • “Lingering memories of the 2012 London Olympics!”

    Reggie Montgomery Systems Analyst
  • “I mainly just keep up with international news that has to do with helicopter crashes, and I’ve got to say, it’s been a pretty slow year.”

    Lindsay McDonald Kindergarten Teacher
  • “Elmore Leonard. The fall of an angel.”

    Colin Allison Appliance Repairman
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