2013 In Politics

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Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
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2013 In Politics

This year saw a 16-day government shutdown, the Supreme Court striking down the Defense of Marriage Act, and the problem-prone rollout of Obamacare’s online health insurance exchange. What do you think was the biggest political story of 2013?

  • “My property taxes went up again, thanks to Mayor Jenkins and his band of cronies.”

    Matt Pickett Hedge Trimmer
  • “I think the fact that there are three branches of government—judicial, executive, and legislative—takes the cake yet again.”

    Zach Solomon Bail Bondsman
  • “I may have dreamt this, but the one where Obama came over to my house to use my printer.”

    Joan Poitras Systems Analyst


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