2013 In Politics

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Most Likely Candidates For Trump’s Cabinet

If elected president, Donald Trump will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising him on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Trump’s inner circle.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
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2013 In Politics

This year saw a 16-day government shutdown, the Supreme Court striking down the Defense of Marriage Act, and the problem-prone rollout of Obamacare’s online health insurance exchange. What do you think was the biggest political story of 2013?

  • “My property taxes went up again, thanks to Mayor Jenkins and his band of cronies.”

    Matt Pickett Hedge Trimmer
  • “I think the fact that there are three branches of government—judicial, executive, and legislative—takes the cake yet again.”

    Zach Solomon Bail Bondsman
  • “I may have dreamt this, but the one where Obama came over to my house to use my printer.”

    Joan Poitras Systems Analyst


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