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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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202 Chemicals Linked To ADHD, Autism

Researchers have identified 202 industrial chemicals and compounds that may be linked to the rise in autism and ADHD. What do you think?
  • "And here all this time I thought it was all the blow I did during my third trimester."

    Geraldine Simmons Bricklayer
  • "The evidence is weak. We should pour many more chemicals on children to see if they develop autism and ADHD before making any conclusions"

    Hector Dayton Office Supply Salesperson
  • "If just one of those chemicals is responsible for making my Doritos nacho cheesier, I say we keep it in."

    Pete Alpert Systems Analyst

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