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Scientists Discover 99% Of NFL Players’ Brains Slimy

SEATTLE—In a major advancement of the ongoing effort to better understand the specific neurobiology of these athletes, a new study released Wednesday by scientists at the University Of Washington revealed that 99 percent of NFL players’ brains are slimy.

Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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21 Burned At Tony Robbins Event

Twenty-one people were treated for burns after they walked across hot coals as part of a four-day “Unleash the Power Within” event hosted by famed motivational speaker and self-help guru Tony Robbins last week. What do you think?

  • “This is the third course I’ve taken through the Learning Annex and honestly, I was more badly injured in the first two.”

    Dirk Blosser Cremator
  • “Some cynics might question the purpose of all this, but the fact of the matter is that these people got off their butts, went out into the real world, and got seriously hurt, instead of just reading about it online.”

    Kayleigh Skatvold Kennel Manager
  • “With Tony Robbins’s help, they'll be back to trusting motivational gurus in no time.”

    Keith Shevlin Cavity Pump Operator

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