25% Of Teen Girls Infected With STD

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Vol 44 Issue 13

90210 Being Remade

Nineties teen soap opera Beverly Hills 90210 is being remade with a whole new cast of characters. What do you think?

Dancer Risks Everything

CHICAGO—In a daring show of hip-hop-infused ballet, a Chicago Academy of the Arts student put it all on the line and found the rhythm that was always within her.
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Race Relations

25% Of Teen Girls Infected With STD

In a new study, the Centers for Disease Control found that at least one in four teenage girls nationwide has a sexually transmitted disease. What do you think?

  • "Let's look on the bright side: At least they are gaining the respect of their male peers."

    Aaron Feit
    Machinist
  • "Or in the case of Northside High School, four out of four teenage girls. Northside sucks! Go Warriors!"

    Peter Hoeksema
    Paint Truck Operator
  • "I had no idea that three-fourths of teen girls were so ugly."

    Maria Isaacs
    Photographer
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