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Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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25% Of Teen Girls Infected With STD

In a new study, the Centers for Disease Control found that at least one in four teenage girls nationwide has a sexually transmitted disease. What do you think?

  • "Let's look on the bright side: At least they are gaining the respect of their male peers."

    Aaron Feit Machinist
  • "Or in the case of Northside High School, four out of four teenage girls. Northside sucks! Go Warriors!"

    Peter Hoeksema Paint Truck Operator
  • "I had no idea that three-fourths of teen girls were so ugly."

    Maria Isaacs Photographer

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