25% Of Teen Girls Infected With STD

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

25% Of Teen Girls Infected With STD

In a new study, the Centers for Disease Control found that at least one in four teenage girls nationwide has a sexually transmitted disease. What do you think?

  • "Let's look on the bright side: At least they are gaining the respect of their male peers."

    Aaron Feit
  • "Or in the case of Northside High School, four out of four teenage girls. Northside sucks! Go Warriors!"

    Peter Hoeksema
    Paint Truck Operator
  • "I had no idea that three-fourths of teen girls were so ugly."

    Maria Isaacs