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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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3 Men Deported From Saudi Arabia For Being ‘Too Sexy’

Authorities reportedly removed three men from a festival in Saudi Arabia and sent them back to their native United Arab Emirates for being “too handsome,” one of whom posted a number of photos of himself on Facebook that show him wearing eyeliner. What do you think?

  • “Good riddance.”

    Arthur Ettel Capacitor Assembler
  • “The same exact thing happened to me. But instead of ‘too sexy,’ they said I was ‘too violent.’”

    James Fearing Systems Analyst
  • “Really? I think men look sexiest when they’re not wearing makeup and are just being themselves.”

    Donnamarie Post Torch Solderer

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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