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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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33 Injured In Airbus Evacuation Drill

33 participants were injured Sunday in an evacuation drill of the new Airbus super-jumbo jet. What do you think?
  • "I'm sure panicking, untrained passengers will fare much better."

    Rob Brockman Taxi Driver
  • "I blame the ‘Last one out is a rotten egg!’ instructions."

    Cynthia Feldman Greeting-Card Designer
  • "I hope the victims got a bonus go on the slide."

    Ken Alioto Systems Analyst

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