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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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33 Injured In Airbus Evacuation Drill

33 participants were injured Sunday in an evacuation drill of the new Airbus super-jumbo jet. What do you think?
  • "I'm sure panicking, untrained passengers will fare much better."

    Rob Brockman Taxi Driver
  • "I blame the ‘Last one out is a rotten egg!’ instructions."

    Cynthia Feldman Greeting-Card Designer
  • "I hope the victims got a bonus go on the slide."

    Ken Alioto Systems Analyst

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