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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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3D Printer Can Make Human Body Parts

Wake Forest University’s 3D “bioprinter” is combining living cells with a gel substance to print out human body parts such as ears, muscles, and jawbones. What do you think?

  • “Printing out body parts is God’s job and no one else’s.”

    Logan Trumbull Cookie Shaper
  • “There’s nothing more satisfying than pressing your cheek against a warm, freshly printed skin graft.”

    Nicholas White Assembly Scheduler
  • “I really just need something that can print out some nice photos of my grandkids.”

    Martha Runion Crumb Sweeper
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