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Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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50% Of Americans Oppose Intervention In Syria

According to an NBC poll, 50 percent of Americans oppose the use of military force against Syria in the wake of a purported chemical weapons attack by the government of Bashar al-Assad, compared to 42 percent who support military action. What do you think?

  • “It’s true. Half of me wants to intervene but the other half doesn’t care.”

    Hugh D’Aquino Film Developer
  • “Well, we have to bomb somebody.”

    Jaleel Piercy Systems Analyst
  • “Ugh, are we still talking about this?”

    Kristen Siegel Volleyball Assembler

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