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Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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5,000 Killed In Syria In August

Activist groups claimed that 5,000 Syrians were killed last month as the Assad regime stepped up its bloody crackdown on the nation’s civilian uprising, marking the highest monthly death toll since the conflict began in March 2011. What do you think?

  • “Man, Assad’s getting really good at killing people.”

    Matthew Mast Truss Assembler
  • “This seems like an awful lot of work just to keep being the president of Syria.”

    Shaun Lipschultz Gem Cutter
  • “I know, right? This hot summer weather has really made people short-tempered.”

    Mariah Nakatsuka Soil Fertility Expert

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