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57% Of High Schoolers Unprepared For College

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.
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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

57% Of High Schoolers Unprepared For College

According to The College Board, only 43 percent of SAT takers in the high school class of 2013 received a 1550 or higher out of 2400 total points, the benchmark the organization uses to determine whether a student is “college-ready.” What do you think?

  • “I think the most logical solution is to make college easier.”

    Ruby McCann
    Plaster Model Maker
  • “But can they take down a bitter old dean?”

    Eric Sylbert
    Unemployed
  • “I wasn’t prepared for college, and look at me now: being asked a question.”

    Gregory Reitano
    Tap Dancer

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