57% Of High Schoolers Unprepared For College

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.


Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.

57% Of High Schoolers Unprepared For College

According to The College Board, only 43 percent of SAT takers in the high school class of 2013 received a 1550 or higher out of 2400 total points, the benchmark the organization uses to determine whether a student is “college-ready.” What do you think?

  • “I think the most logical solution is to make college easier.”

    Ruby McCann
    Plaster Model Maker
  • “But can they take down a bitter old dean?”

    Eric Sylbert
  • “I wasn’t prepared for college, and look at me now: being asked a question.”

    Gregory Reitano
    Tap Dancer