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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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7,000 Iraqis U.S. Bound

The United States has agreed to admit 7,000 Iraqi refugees into the country. What do you think?
  • "It should be a whole lot easier for our troops to kill them here."

    Werner Seidel Systems Analyst
  • "Yeah, I mean, I guess we should save a couple Iraqis in order to repopulate the country once everybody there dies out or moves to Iran."

    Liz Armstrong Locksmith
  • "I hope they have a way of checking that that they're actual Iraqis and not U.S. soldiers trying to sneak back here."

    Bob Thomas Antiques Dealer
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