75% Of Breast Milk Bought Online Contaminated

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

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75% Of Breast Milk Bought Online Contaminated

A study found that three quarters of human breast milk samples purchased from the online site Only the Breast, an exchange service for mothers, were contaminated with levels of bacteria that could sicken a child, including salmonella and traces of feces. What do you think?

  • “What about the regular kind you get at bodegas?”

    Morris Rivera
    Legislative Aide
  • “It’s very important to wash the breasts after preparing other foods on them, or using them to wipe the countertop.”

    Juliana Boyd
    Fraud Investigator
  • “They’d better get things straightened out by Cyber Monday.”

    Taylor Klieman
    Hay Farmer