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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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78,000 Apply For One-Way Trip To Mars

The Dutch nonprofit Mars One, which hopes to send a small group of humans on a one-way mission to establish a colony on the surface of Mars in 2022, has received applications from 78,000 people who are willing to leave Earth and never come back. What do you think?

  • “I’d be willing to hold down the fort here if everyone wanted to go.”

    Albert Calvo Mortising Machine Operator
  • “They’ll need a brash leader, a sexy female chemist, an eccentric mechanic, and a mysterious stowaway, but could they use an out-of-work insurance actuary?”

    Marc Lin Unemployed
  • “Is there something wrong here on Earth? Everything seems pretty good to me.”

    Anya Zylberfain, Bottle Label Inspector
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