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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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8 States Fail Corruption Test

A multi-agency survey of corruption in the U.S. gave a grade of “F” to eight states, including South and North Dakota, Maine, and Virginia. What do you think?

  • "Does this mean North Dakota governor Jack Dalrymple isn't going to bring my bike back?"

    Robert Willis Mirror Installer
  • "How corrupt could these states be if they didn’t even bribe the people conducting the survey to give them a passing grade?"

    Ann Reutmanis Unemployed
  • "As a stereotypical East Coast elitist, I'm somewhat chagrined to discover that all this time I've been flying over some epic corruption."

    Willie Deutrom Designer
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