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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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9% Of Dog, Cat Owners Write Pets Into Their Wills

A survey from the American Pet Products Association found that, as of 2012, 9 percent of both cat and dog owners had made financial arrangements in their wills to provide for their pets after their deaths. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, I put my dog in my will, but it was mostly as a ‘fuck you’ to my kids.”

    Tony Darden Unemployed
  • “Would my dog have to sign the contract with an adorable paw print?”

    Marjorie Petty Makeup Artist
  • “Miss Precious knows she isn’t getting anything.”

    Esther Ziffren Helicopter Mechanic

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