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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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$900 Million Lawsuit Might Hinge On Whether Ghosts Real

A $900 million lawsuit over the rights to The Conjuring horror franchise could hinge on whether the films are based on real or fictional events, and thus whether or not ghosts are real. What do you think?

  • “I expect a just verdict, assuming they select a jury with equal numbers drawn from the living and the dead.”

    Lisa Paulet Disk Ejector
  • “This could completely reverse the precedent set by the City of New York vs. Vigo the Carpathian.”

    Chris Wundrock Document Dumper
  • “This is my divorce trial all over again.”

    Randall Lynch Ice Cream Flavorer

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