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Veteran Told What Offends Him

WASHINGTON—In the wake of protests in which some players knelt during the national anthem prior to this week’s NFL games, a U.S. Army veteran has been informed that the acts offended him.

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.
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9/11 Commission Let Down

In their final report, the 9/11 Commission said they were disappointed by the government response to their recommendations. What do you think?
  • "We responded to 9/11 already, remember? Iraq?"

    Kathryn Reynolds Systems Analyst
  • "Don't these people have anything better to do than look at facts, see massive problems, and then make suggestions based on those facts?"

    Walter Murphy Baker
  • "Tell me about it. I've been sending the government a list of recommendations about once a week for the last eight years, and all I get is periodic visits from the FBI."

    Mark Lee Automobile Customizer

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