adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
End Of Section
  • More News

9/11 Families Upset Over New Remains

Families of the victims of 9/11 are angry as new remains—including wallets, clothing, and bones—were discovered at Ground Zero. What do you think?
  • "C'mon Ann Coulter, lash out against those bone-seeking, personal-effects junkies who dare to call themselves relatives."

    Lucielle Maslin Nurse
  • "So that's where my arm bone is. Man, I have been looking for that for, like, five years."

    Harold Kurner Golf Trainer
  • "People complain that the site was never treated like a proper crime scene— but as a souvenir and memorabilia salesman, let me tell you, it was days before they let us in there."

    Joseph Rabnett Salesman
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close