A Heroin Experience

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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A Heroin Experience

With studies indicating that its use is greatly on the rise, heroin has been the focus of much attention lately, featured prominently in the film Trainspotting and on the cover of Time magazine. What do you think of this so-called "drug of the '90s"?
  • "Heroin's a beautiful thing, man. It's like the first four seasons of Full House all at once."

    Gregg Hillard
    Systems Analyst
  • "There's nothing like the rush you get when that needle hits your vein, man. Absolutely nothing. I'm so glad I gave up drugs for knitting."

    Gene Braddock
  • "I've never tried heroin, but I used to be hooked on opium suppositories. Everyday, four or five of those. Okay, I guess there was no opium in them."

    Stephen Algenio
    Wedding Planner
  • "I'll tell you who my heroine is. That's right: Barbra Streisand."

    Ira Purdle
  • "All my friends think it's 'cool' to do heroin. Well, call me old-fashioned, but I'm sticking with smokable crack cocaine."

    Frances Halloran
    Civil Engineer
  • "Huh...whazz... fuckin... mnnnorrr... I don't... w...monkey."

    Julie Weiner
    Occupational Therapist