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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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A Nation Of Prisoners

According to a recent Justice Department report, the number of jailed Americans more than doubled over the past 12 years, and the U.S. could soon pass Russia as the nation with the highest rate of imprisonment. What do you think about America's soaring prison population?
  • "I don't understand how the prison population has boomed. I mean, I know those guys screw all the time, but they can't get pregnant that way, can they?"

    John Montefusco Cab Driver
  • "For years, I've been calling for the construction of an interdimensional Phantom Zone to deal with this overcrowding problem."

    Omar Minton Prep Cook
  • "As CEO of Amalgamated Tin Cups & Orange Fabric, I say hooray!"

    Diane Ivie CEO
  • "There are far too many people in prison. Obviously, this country doesn't have enough high-profile defense attorneys."

    Helen Metzger Systems Analyst
  • "Shockingly, a full 40 percent of U.S. prisoners are incarcerated on marijuana-possession charges. You don't expect us to just let these fiends go, do you?"

    David Halicki Investment Banker
  • "I have only one question: How will this affect the Internet?"

    Dennis Herndon Magazine Editor
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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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