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A Polarized Nation

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Man Practices Haircut Request Before Heading To Barber

MINNEAPOLIS—Having scripted a set of lines he hoped to deliver with confidence and decisiveness, local 34-year-old Jason Clyne carefully rehearsed his haircut request several times Friday before heading to his local barbershop, sources confirmed.

Weddings vs. Eloping

Many couples who don’t want to put the time and money toward a wedding simply run off and get married in secret. Here is a side-by-side comparison of planning a wedding and eloping

EPA Urges Flint Residents To Stop Dumping Tap Water Down Drain

FLINT, MI—Citing the significant health and safety risks that it poses to public infrastructure and the local ecosystem, the Environmental Protection Agency released a statement Thursday urging residents of Flint to discontinue dumping tap water down their drains.

New OSHA Regulations To Cut Down On Workplace Mutations

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to address the troubling number of genetic transformations occurring in workplaces across the nation, the United States Occupational Safety and Health Administration unveiled new regulations this week aimed at reducing on-the-job mutations, sources confirmed.

Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Upcoming Changes To U.S. Currency

Secretary of the Treasury Jack Lew recently announced a series of significant changes to U.S. currency. Here are some of the more notable alterations on the horizon
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A Polarized Nation

Many people say the nation became even more politically polarized in 2004. What do you think?
  • "Come on. The nation hasn't experienced a moment of unity in decades, except for the 'who shot J.R.?' craze and those two weeks in September 2001."

    Cory Shade Parking Attendant
  • "Yeah. Sheesh—women!"

    Frankin Stedder Director
  • "Our nation will never be healed so long as those redneck rubes in flyover land refuse to listen to reason, and continue to vote for who they want."

    Duane Segar Systems Analyst
  • "Yes, the rift between the left-leaning centrist moderate Republicans and the right-leaning ultra conservative Republicans grows ever wider."

    Karen Anderson Cellist
  • "I got this funny e-mail about the red and blue states. I can't remember exactly what it said, but it was funny in that poignant sort of way."

    Tom Knight Plumbers Assistant
  • "Polarized sounds like one of those fancy liberal words. Why don't you just say 'right' and 'wrong'?"

    Jill Karls Nurse

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