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Politics

Man Doesn't Even Do Good Job At Sleeping

Along with his consistently poor performance at work and his general lack of common, everyday life skills, local man Corey White told reporters Thursday that he can't even do a good job at sleeping.

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.

A Timeline Of Trump’s Relationship With The Press

President-elect Donald Trump routinely insists that he is treated unfairly by the press, while many in the news industry have openly expressed how difficult it can be to report on him in today’s chaotic media environment. Here is a timeline of the major events that have shaped this relationship.

The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income

As Finland tests a program to give a universal basic income to unemployed citizens, many wonder if a similar initiative could work in the United States. Here are some pros and cons of such a program:

What Compromising Information Does Russia Have On Donald Trump?

On Tuesday, it was reported that leaders of American intelligence agencies had given Donald Trump a memo advising that Russia had gathered compromising personal information about him as part of a wider effort to disrupt the election, though these claims remain unsubstantiated and both the president-elect and the Kremlin deny these reports. Here’s a look at what damaging information Russia may have in its possession.

How Confirmation Hearings Work

On Tuesday, Congress began holding confirmation hearings to evaluate the fitness of President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet nominees for their offices. Here is a step-by-step guide to the confirmation hearing process.
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A Woman In The White House?

Elizabeth Dole's recent decision to leave the Red Cross is regarded by many as a sign that she will run for president in 2000. What do you think about the prospect of a first-ever female president?
  • "Haven't we learned our lesson about letting a woman into the Oval Office? What if she started giving people blow jobs? It'd be disaster all over again."

    Barry Sims Stockbroker
  • "Bob Dole would make a glamorous First Lady."

    Emily Weston Insurance Agent
  • "I warned this would happen if we gave women the vote. Now they're all drunk with power."

    Oscar Grosz Systems Analyst
  • "Anyone with half a brain knows that women are just as capable of leading as men. Just look what a good job Captain Janeway has done."

    Kathleen Riegert Student
  • "A woman can't be president, because she might get PMS and make bad decisions. Only male presidents can properly control their hormones."

    Sunil Shahpura Cashier
  • "I think there should be a woman in the White House, but not Elizabeth Dole. She's just not hot enough."

    Kevin Dobson Delivery Driver

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