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ABC Cancels 'Hank'

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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ABC Cancels 'Hank'

After airing five episodes, ABC has canceled the Kelsey Grammer disgraced-CEO-returns-to-small-hometown sitcom Hank. What do you think?
  • "The three-camera-and-laugh-track sitcom formula is so tired. ABC needs to make shows that exactly fit the one-camera-and-awkward-pause formula."

    Keith Mulligan Systems Analyst
  • "Dammit, episode seven was supposed to be the one where he loosens his tie."

    Genevieve Roeder Support Services Representative
  • "Yeah, I couldn't understand that show. Everyone kept calling Frasier 'Hank.'"

    Nathan Tracy Unemployed

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