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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Abercrombie & Fitch Institutes Reverse Sponsorship

As a publicity stunt, Abercrombie & Fitch has offered to pay Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino not to wear its clothing line, saying they believe an association with him is "contrary to the aspirational image of the brand." What do you think?

  • “I've been not-wearing their clothes for decades and I haven't made a dime. And I'm a complete jerk-off. The world just doesn't make sense anymore.”

    Sara Kingdom Systems Analyst
  • "Poor Abercrombie & Fitch. They're merely trying to sexualize young girls and subtly mock Asian people and The Situation has to come in and tarnish their good name."

    Don Chaplett Dado Operator
  • “They tried that with Tara Reid and Kmart’s Kathy Ireland line. Didn’t work.”

    Damon Wills Flanger
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